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In this episode…

Guided Along, As It Were, a Chain of Flowers Into the Mysteries of Life

Some people think of the Internet as the Pandora’s box of our times. Sure, they might be on to something, but if they are then it only means we are our own worst enemies and you’re supposed to keep those closest. I’m outside shivering and cars are passing, people are passing, each in their own machine, warmed by dry heat blowing from adjustable plastic vents, some at their feet and some a little ways below eye level. We live here, then in a series of moveable insulated environments, then we live somewhere else. Whether or not we make it back here, we’re always living, until we’re not. On some planets, living is defined differently, just ask Inspector Emelda K. Fortescue PhD, linguist and party-animal-in-residence at the Institute for The Good Old Days on the planet Splerth. Dr. Fortescue is best known for her work in the field of hyper-symbolic cognition. Her opus, A Comprehensive Map of the Importance of the Moment, proved indispensable to the royal guild of Splerthenese explorers as they quested for answers to the big questions, each of which they answered definitively upon their return to civilization in a series of well attended lectures, entitled: No More Mysteries.

A Comprehensive Map of The Importance Of The Moment
by Dr. Emelda K. Fortescue

Life began when the first guy looked at the second guy and thought “what if I was him”, sitting there, pipe in hand, a cloud of fragrant tobacco musk hanging in the doldrums of the breezeless night. The lonliness of being one of many overcame the first guy and he shed tears that dropped to his lap and dried up, leaving mini salt licks on the black cloth. Each thought replaced each other thought as the ability to build thought pyramids crumbled, giving way to the desperation of this instant, and the next, and the omnipresence of the concept of infinity and the discreet reality of his own existence.

Now that there are no more mysteries, we have fallen into a waking dream. We bound gleefully down carpetted hallways but stop when we’ve reached the registrar’s office, dead in our tracks, distracted by the stencilled lettering on the frosted glass window. There are voices inside, some rumbling gravely, some young and full of the promise of another first person future. Circles and rectangles, some of which are squares, appear in every scene in any number of combinations, some predictable by probability models, some cleverly surprising, all within the realm of the possible. Circle-less rooms and square-less activities remind us of the balance of nature and the power of invention. Scars, robotics, cuticle beds, pinwheels, itching, motion pictures, pecuniary responsibility: a spiraling scape of lovable stuffed creatures whose comforting timelessness protects the world from the dangers of real-thing intensity.

Something awful happened when ennui, then war, became logical tools for rebelling against the facts: the more you become aware of the boundless and incalculable nature of your own thoughts, the harder it is to ignore relativity.

also in this episode…

Unlike the earth’s precious and dwindling supply of fossil fuels, Smurf porn is an unlimited / renewable resource that I’m more than happy to mine, perform and distribute for and to, you, Colbert’s heroes, the people.

and…
more freestyles with my brother Jake!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

– Thanks to Matty Briton for his many contributions!

The Soccergirl, Incorporated 200th EPISODE is coming soon, and I’m taking submissions of audio, video, images, writing, etc., for inclusion in the episode. I’m also taking requests for favorite clips from the past 200.

You can send all submissions to my email (please write: Submission 200 in the title field):
soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com.
You can call in requests to the comment line:
206-600-4SEX (4739)

It’s time to Vote at Podcastalley guys! Remember about how I’ll show you my ass!

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7 of Podcasting’s brightest female stars are now on one NEW show! Share from Rock
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1) Go check out GoDaddy.com
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SG1 — 10% off any purchase

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This entry was posted on Saturday, February 3rd, 2007 at 2:37 pm and is filed under Podcast, brutha. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.